The Time 100 People That Shape Our World

Quick test. What do the following people have in common?

Renzo Piano, Nicolas Ghesquiere, Chen Guangcheng, and Andrew von Eschenbach.

If your answer was "99% of people haven't heard of any of them and you have to triple check the spelling of their names" then you're right. Extra credit though if you also guessed "All people picked ahead of Osama Bin Laden for the Time 100 People that Shape Our World."

Now I'm aware of the first rule of these lists. For those of you who are not, it is: You have to make the list wildly ridiculous and non-obvious. Then it shows how smart you are, plus people will talk about. (Obviously, awareness of this ploy and failure to fall for it are two entirely different things.)

But still, this is the guy who brought an end to irony, stopped political bickering and has united our country. OK, none of those popular but obviously absurd predictions floated about after September 11 actually occurred. And it's interesting to note that the sort of people who said stuff like that are probably the ones now choosing the guy who created The World of Warcraft over the guy whose helped bring war to a lot of the world.

But back to my point. No matter how good that wasabi salad dressing is, Osama needs to rank slightly above Rachael Ray And even though he got me my first job not involving selling gas or baseball cards, produced polo shirts which stay as bright as the day I bought them 9 years ago, and made it incredibly easy for anyone to dress and decorate their home like they have family in Conneticut, I'd be willing to bump Ralph Lauren as well.

I could understand if they were trying to make it "uplifting" (or some crap like that) and only included people they liked. But this can't be the case because they included Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Ayman al-Zawahiri, and George W. Bush. So I just don't get it. It's the biggest mystery since Biggie and Tupac didn't crack the top 5 of VH1's 40 Biggest Celebrity Feuds. (As Bill Simmons noted, " Wait a second -- didn't both guys die? What else needed to happen? You're telling me that the Biggie-2Pac feud was slightly tamer than the Dixie Chicks and Toby Keith? Really? ")

I'm eagerly awaiting this years' version of Time's "Top 100 Power Hitters to play for the San Francisco Giants." I have a feeling Barry Bonds is finally going to top Omar Vizquel and Brett Butler.